Saturday, January 7, 2012

Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder

Recently, I've had to deal with a stalker. This is distressing to somebody like myself, for various reasons. First, while I love the idea of somebody paying attention to me, if the attention is being paid with the intent to murder, it's not the attention I'd prefer. Second, the circumstances around it were particularly odd, leading me to wonder if my assumptions of the "normal" way people conduct business via unstated rules of etiquette is insufficiently tacit. I'm worried I'm much too subtle.

The specifics are this: I have two roommates, and one of these roommates and I decided the third just wasn't working out. So, we approached the third, and told the third he wasn't "working out," and to make plans to leave the situation. The third, rather than simply doing what we expected was the "normal" thing (i.e. leave a situation that was making you uncomfortable anyway), he decided that the lease applied to his room, and he was free to stay and we would just have to deal with it. Third person obviously doesn't recognize the notion of communal goodwill being vital to close quarters cohabitation, obviously.

So, quite unlike myself, I simply stated that it was time to go, thinking Third didn't quite pick up on the subtlety. Third threatened to kill me, etc. etc. etc. Dreadful business. I wound up having to go to the courthouse to get a protection order set up, and now I'm waiting for the drunk to get home so #2 can serve the papers and I can just call the cops and get it over with. I think the problem is that now I just can't sleep at all, despite being very tired. I'm sitting against the wall in my room, typing this now, worried about the next sound I hear.

And while I'm not married to Third, nor have any ties to Third, I must nevertheless stay here. It's 3:30 am, and I don't have anywhere else left to go. I'm going to try to lay down and get some sleep, but only nightmares will come. I miss security and a feeling of safety, and more than anything, I am killing myself that I'm paycheck to paycheck and can't just get a Motel 6 right now. $40 for a night's sleep would be worth it, but I'm just that impoverished.

Altogether, though, it's a situation where I empathize with all the victims in the world, and I hope, pray that they find peace. Not much beyond that, I suppose. There are women out there with guns pointed to the heads of their children, and I can never truly know the terror that involves. Just remember the victims in your thoughts.